Crying during feeding is one of the most distressing challenges for parents. A baby who fusses, arches, or refuses the bottle can leave you feeling confused, worried, and unsure what the underlying problem might be. While many parents assume crying means their baby is in pain or has a medical issue, feeding distress is far more commonly caused by behavioural or situational factors than illness.

Understanding why your baby cries is the key to resolving the problem. Feeding is a complex interaction involving hunger cues, comfort, flow rate, timing, emotional state, and past experiences. When one or more of these factors become mismatched with the baby’s needs, feeding can feel overwhelming or unpleasant — and crying becomes their way of communicating this.

Crying is not a sign of stubbornness, nor is it a reflection of anything a parent has done anything wrong. It is simply a baby’s way of expressing discomfort, stress or mismatch during feeding. Once the underlying cause is understood, most babies return to calm, comfortable feeding with the right adjustments.

Key Points

• Crying during feeds is most often caused by flow, timing or feeding pressure rather than medical issues.

• A baby who feeds well when drowsy but resists when awake is showing a key sign of feeding aversion, not preference.

• Fast flow, overstimulation, lactose overload and discomfort can all trigger crying or pulling away.

• True medical causes are far less common but should be considered if crying occurs outside feeding times as well.

• Most babies improve quickly once the underlying cause is understood and feeding becomes baby-led and low-pressure.

Common Reasons Babies Cry During Feeds

1. Feeding pressure → developing feeding aversion

A feeding aversion develops when feeding has repeatedly felt stressful or pressured. Babies may be encouraged to drink more than they want, fed when not ready, or repeatedly coaxed despite resistance. Over time, they learn to avoid feeding to protect themselves.

A key sign is that the baby feeds much better when drowsy or asleep. While awake, they sense the familiar stress and resist. When sleepy, awareness drops and instinctive sucking takes over.

What you might see:

• Crying or fussing as soon as feeding begins

• Turning away, stiffening or clamping mouth shut

• Feeding lightly when awake but well when drowsy

• Escalating distress during positioning or bottle presentation

(See more about feeding aversions)

2. Baby is not ready to feed

Feeding works best when baby is physically and emotionally ready. Offering a feed too soon, too late, or at a time of overstimulation can lead to crying or refusal before the nipple even reaches their lips.

What you might see:

• Upset at being placed in feeding position

• Pushing away before sucking begins

• Inconsistent intake depending on timing

3. Milk flow is too fast

A very common cause. If milk flows faster than the baby can coordinate, they may feel overwhelmed or unsafe. This can also increase air intake and discomfort, leading to crying during or shortly after feeds.

What you might see:

• Gulping, coughing, sputtering or wide-eyed distress

• Milk leaking from the lips

• Pulling off repeatedly

• Crying mid-feed

4. Milk flow is too slow

If the baby must work hard to extract milk, frustration and fatigue can build. Slow-flow teats, tight bottle rings or reduced suction capability can make feeding difficult.

What you might see:

• Strong sucking with little milk transfer

• Long feeds that feel unproductive

• Crying after several minutes of effort

• Falling asleep before taking enough

5. Overtiredness or overstimulation

Feeding requires coordination and emotional regulation. When overtired or overstimulated, babies may struggle to focus, settle or maintain rhythm, resulting in crying.

What you might see:

• Fussing before feeding begins

• Difficulty staying latched

• Feeding better once drowsy

• Short, fragmented feeds

Learn more about overtiredness.

6. Reflux or physical discomfort

While much less common than parents often assume, reflux and certain physical discomforts can contribute to crying during feeds. Symptoms may reflect esophageal irritation, swallowed air, teething discomfort or nasal congestion.

What you might see:

• Crying when placed in feeding position

• Arching back mid-feed

• Preference for upright feeding

• Crying that continues after feeds

See 'The truth about reflux'.

7. Lactose overload

Lactose overload occurs when large amounts of milk move through the gut quickly, from fast bottle flow or, in breastfed babies, where they can receive more lactose than their intestinal tract can handle owing to foremilk-hindmilk imbalance. Undigested lactose can reach the lower bowel, causing gas and abdominal discomfort.

What you might see:

• Crying during or shortly after feeds

• Very gassy or windy behaviour

• Frothy, loose, greenish stools

• Frequent feeding but still unsettled

• Spitting up from fullness

This is not lactose intolerance; it is a volume/flow issue.

Learn more about Lactose overload.

8. Oral or medical issues that make feeding uncomfortable

Medical contributors are less common than behavioural and flow causes but should be considered when crying occurs both during and outside feeds.

Examples include:

• Oral thrush: white patches causing mouth pain

• Tongue-tie or suck difficulties: poor latch or fatigue

• Ear infections: sucking increases ear pressure

• Food protein sensitivity (e.g., CMPA): digestive discomfort, mucus or blood in stools

• General illness: fever, irritability, reduced appetite

What you might see:

• Crying at feeds and also at other times

• Reduced appetite overall

• Persistent irritability beyond feeding

• Other symptoms such as rash, fever or lethargy

9. Taste or smell changes

Infants are sensitive to subtle variations. Stored breast milk with elevated lipase, formula changes, unfamiliar bottle teats or environmental odours can trigger fussing or rejection.

What you might see:

• Accepting a few sips, then pulling away

• Preferring fresh milk over stored milk

• Refusing only certain bottles or batches

10. Feeding environment or caregiver interaction

Babies respond to the emotional tone around them. A rushed, tense, overstimulating or unpredictable environment can make feeding harder for them to settle into.

What you might see:

• Feeding better in quiet or dim settings

• Fussing only with certain caregivers

• Becoming overwhelmed by noise or activity

When to Seek Medical Advice

Most feeding-related crying can be improved by adjusting flow, timing and feeding approach. Seek medical advice if you notice:

Seek help promptly if:

• Fewer than 5–6 wet nappies in 24 hours (after the first week)

• Crying during nearly every feed despite adjustments

• Poor weight gain or a concerning drop on the growth chart

• Blood, persistent mucus or unusual stool changes

• Signs of dehydration (dry mouth, fewer tears, sunken fontanelle)

• Marked lethargy or low responsiveness

• Vomiting beyond normal spit-up

• Fever, rash or general illness

• A sudden feeding change with no clear cause

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it is always appropriate to seek reassurance.

Feeding should feel safe and comfortable for your baby. Once you understand what is driving your baby’s distress, even small adjustments can make a meaningful difference. Most babies improve quickly with a calmer, baby-led approach that removes pressure and supports their natural feeding rhythm. If you are unsure, or if the crying continues despite changes, seeking guidance can help you identify the exact cause and restore confidence in feeding.

By Rowena Bennett

How Baby Care Advice can help

If your baby is showing signs of a feeding aversion, you do not have to navigate it alone. Our resources are based on Rowena Bennett’s decades of clinical experience helping thousands of families worldwide.

• Your Baby’s Bottle-Feeding Aversion (eBook)
  A clear, step-by-step guide to understanding the cause of your baby’s aversion and how to resolve it gently and effectively.

• Baby Care Advice Consultation
  A personalised assessment with an experienced consultant to identify all possible feeding problems and provide tailored solutions.

• Online Bottle-Feeding Aversion Program
  Rowena’s structured, self-paced program for parents who want expert guidance and practical steps to follow at home.

About Rowena

Rowena Bennett (RN, RM, CHN, MHN, IBCLC) is a leading infant-feeding and sleep specialist and author of several books on infant feeding and behaviour, including the widely acclaimed “Your Baby’s Bottle-Feeding Aversion: Reasons & Solutions.” With over three decades of clinical experience across child health, midwifery, mental health, and lactation, she has helped thousands of families worldwide understand and resolve complex feeding challenges through her evidence-based, baby-led approaches.

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